How many people have to die before you realize you've been conned? Not dying fast enough for you? Just wait...
Always check your threat perception meter. Hint: it should be smaller than your peter.
There is no upswing. It was always just the Drew. Same as any other year. They lied about Bohveed X1X to sell you Francine. Beware Francine. She's all killer with no filler.
I have been reading a few of the leaked door-to-door faux vaccine scripts. I feel we should have some scripts of our own. For example, the answer to some of their questions could be, "Have you ever engaged in copulation with a gender neutral Emperor Penguin from the remotest region of Patagonia?" Or perhaps, "I have information on the mating rituals of Armenian aardvarks. Would you like me to share that with you?" Or even, "I have photos of fire ants at a rave. Would you like to see them?"
Still think it's about health? "Knock Knock. We are here to talk to you about eating less junk food and more farm fresh produce."
No, that's not it. "Knock Knock. We are here to advise you on the potential risks associated with smoking tobacco." No, that's not it.
"Knock Knock. We are here to give you free insulin...and a donut! Aw...come on...we will even enter your name in the lottery!"
No, that's not it either. "Knock Knock. Are you aware that multiple symptoms can be resolved simply by drinking more water and engaging in moderate daily exercise?" No, that's not it either.
"Knock Knock. Hello you terrified conformist minion of the state. Wanna shoot up some poison for no good reason other than to crash your system and hopefully kill you before you can claim benefits?" Ah...that's it.
